'Money has no value unless you use it.'

why? because too many stingy people are hogging their wealth and trying to bring it with them to the afterlife but guess what? you can't so starting spending that cheddah~

   

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

So it's been like wow, my last entry was November 2009? So this is like over 1/2 year now since I've written anything.  Well today is actually my birthday, and no I didn't tell you it's my birthday expecting any bday wishes (I got a ton of those on FB which I have to get back to tonight as the company blocked FB here).  The reason I mentioned my birthday is b/c the more I think about living, the more I think about dying.

So it's been 2.5 years since I left EVERYTHING behind and came back to Hong Kong to work for the French international company that I'm currently still working for.  When I say everything I mean friends, family, coworkers, lovers, monetary possessions etc. Basically I left everything that had been 'my life' since Grade 2 behind.  The only other times I've been back to Hong Kong was for vacation so needless to say I had a lot of fun.

So it's 2:55pm now, I'm at work, it's my birthday and I'm not happy.  Why? Well it's not because I have to work but it's because I've lost a lot of $$$ due to my greed...*sigh* Sounds sorta silling but in my mind I suddenly am reminded of the movie 'The Punisher' where Frank Castle pulls the gun out and attempts to turn it on himself.  The issue of this entry is about suicide afterall, so let's get back on track.

I've always seen myself as a warrior, I always felt that those who committed suicide were weak, pathetic fools, dying for love, for money, for whatever idiotic reason.  I have absolute confidence in everything and anything that I do and committing suicide has never crossed my mind (not even remotely) until recently.  First of all, for all those who have studied psychology, this is not a cry for help.  I know what they tell you in the textbooks but seriously they're bloody textbooks.  ANYWAYS I did seriously give the topic of 'suicide' some deep thought and I even confided in my friend my desire to just end it all.  Now I'm not choosing to end life b/c of the typical reasons of ie. rejection, bankruptcy etc.  I really wanted to end it b/c I found I had no purpose in life.  I couldn't think of a single thing worth living for.  NOTHING AT ALL.  I was doing nothing meaningful in life, sure I'm stockpiling a lot of $$ but to what end? For what purpose? Life was a misery to me all of a sudden.  Now don't get me wrong, I had it all.  I've got my own pad (in Hong Kong this is very very rare for ppl under 30 to live on their own as the real estate prices + rent is insane, just type most expensive places to live in the world I guarantee you Hong Kong is in the top 10 if not probably top 5), I've got 2 gfs (yep 2), I've got more $$ than the typical guy my age, I speak at least 3 different languages so I've got a certain value in my company and the boss likes me, the coworkers like me too and I like them, I had a loving family, powerful friends and family, big house, car whatever.  None of this matter though, especially when all you can think of is just putting an end to all this.

I didn't understand it either, why I had a strong desire to die?  The main reason I think is because I've stopped caring.  If someone pointed a gun at me right now and ask me if I wanted to live or die I'd probably reply with 'Doesn't really matter'.  It is depressing to be talking about such things on one's birthday but if you think about it, each day we live, we are one step closer to dying.  I can swear it's the Hong Kong suicide effect.  I was happy and everything in Canada, sure I had less $$ at the time but perhaps I can understand some more why rich people commit suicide.  I always said to friends / family 'What idiots.  They had so much $$ and they killed themselves, what a complete waste.  Could've given me some of that $$'  You see, in Hong Kong there are a lot of rich people but at the same time the suicide rates are also very high.  I think many people, despite acquiring wealth after arriving here (like my cousins) truly feel miserable.  $$ had always been important to me, it was everything to live for, to work hard in school and get those 90% averages because it would lead to a good life, a rich life.  Now that I have some $$, it suddenly seems to not matter anymore.  I just stopped caring.  It just doesn't matter whether I live or die anymore. 

I saw an article 2 weeks ago about a girl in UK that killed herself after many many failed job interviews.  She had initially wanted to be a school teacher, eventually lowering her expecations/pay expectations and even applied to McDonalds and they rejected her.  She committed suicide and in her note, one of the things she said was (apart from the notes to her bf/parents/friends) 'I don't want to be myself anymore.' I can tell you I understand completely how she felt at the time, $$ was everything to me but if you ask me to choose and start all over again, I would give away my house, my car, my name brand clothes, my stocks, currencies, bonds in exchange of happiness and living a 'poorer' life.  $$ really doesn't lead to happiness because if it did, I wouldn't be writing this now but then again the stock market is doing horrible today. 

Okay I've spent the past 30 minutes on the company's dime typing this entry.  It is so depressing for one to be talking about suicide on one's birthday but then again it could always be worst right? Like actually splattering my brains all over the keyboard after I hit the 'send' button?  Which I won't do of course because dying on one's birthday is just being silly.  As one of the villains in the Bond movie ‘Die Another Day’ said: ‘So you live to die another day.’  Guess I wasn’t meant to die yet.  I’m too lazy to even bother pulling the trigger.

Well I don’t know when my next entry would be but if you ever hear from me again you’ll know what happened….lol psych I’m just messing with ya.  Suicide is for the weak and I want you ALL to remember that before you pull the trigger aiights? Or if you’re really down just listen to a lil’ bit of Tupac coz *music* baby don't cry, you gotta keep your head up, even when the road is hard, never give up.....baby don't cry....*music* Oh and I swear ONE last quote before I leave, and this is from Final Destination 3...just 2 words: 'FUCK DEATH' (then the guy who said this got killed rofl) life's a bitch then you die by this bitch (=.=)* bloody hell....

So after a LONNNNGGG wait guys I'm back!  This forum was for an article that talked about how men behaved like babies when they get sick.  Obviously some women took the advantage to do some men bashing in this forum while other men retaliated with some women bashing.  Not gonna take sides here but do take a read at some of the posts as they were hilarious.

Posted by SP: 'Man colds are wonderful. It helps men die years before women. The fact that men only have 1 'x' chromosome has nothing to do with it, they die sooner because they're big wimps. Man colds, ha ha ha.'

Posted by MM: '"Man colds are wonderful. It helps men die years before women"
You've got some unresolved issues with men....'

Posted by TM: 'Man Colds give men the opportunity to act like women for a brief period. I think we die earlier to avoid the nagging.'

Posted by vkr: 'I think that we men get man colds because for 1 week every month we have to deal with all the woman issues that most women call a natural thing. It's not natural to hate everything about your man for a week a month and then when it's all said and done and he's hiding in the basement or working overtime to avoid being verbally assaulted, I think we are entitled to a little "down" time. But I also agree with Prospero it affects every one the same, on some level...'

Posted by RIP: 'Who's doing all of the whining here?Thats right, you women are!So enough man hating and SUCK IT UP,if your men in the house are whining because they have the flu/cold ,maybe its the only WAY THEY CAN GET any ATTENTION FROM THE FEMALES AROUND THEM,other than take out the trash or gimme your paycheck!You women crawl up our backsides for a week every month and we have to take it and go on.Both sexes go down for the count when ill, so knock off the man hating and deal with it!!!!! '

Hope you guys enjoyed this and have an enjoyable weekend.  I'll try to write more despite my busy schedule.

~Tre~